some time

yeah it's been some time.
yesterday i arrived back from Hawaii... more on that later.
but for now...

aren't relationships supposed to be reciprocal?
i thought i was done with these but i guess i'm not.
"female issues" [laugh it out]
it's bad to be labeled a "female" .. yeah?

i want to scream. SO? WHAT THE FUCK? AND?
sacrifice, respect, loyalty, and trust.

i want to check them all off.


before these entries turn into a replica of 07, i should just take really, really, really, really deeeeeeeep breaths.
this is rational. i shouldn't feel like i need to meet someone/some group's standards. what happened?

see-saw, not a balance. i'm too much. i'm too much. i'm too much.

you said it yourself.

these have roots.

i should flip the switch.
catch it from the other side.

aggravation

FML
(for now)

new era

August 1st is fast approaching and I need to find tenants for this apartment. I'm moving into a one bedroom and I'm superfcknexcited. So today, on my day off, I've been walking around just touring different sites; some are better than others but utilities and appliances have been the prime determining factor on whether or not I want to move into the place. I was lucky when I got this apartment -- washer&dryer + a microwave with utilities included?! -- totally took advantage of this!

I have an appointment to see a place across the street in 10 minutes.

ahhh wish me luck, pleeeease.
(or else I'll be homeless!)

...

R.I.P.

Billy Mays
July 20, 1958 - June 28, 2009

a week in threes

R.I.P.

Ed McMahon
March 6, 1923 – June 23, 2009
Farrah Fawcett
February 2, 1947 - June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson
August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

SR; the average american male

finished the book i bought yesterday this morning but i had to take a break last night because of some... certain circumstances. anyway, the title is the average american male by chad kultgen & it was the realest book i've ever read (i have no better way of putting it). easy read, light, and targeted for my generation, it still had little lessons i think i'll carry with me. despite the constant references to sex and cussing every other line, i genuinely liked it and recommend it to anyone who doesn't get offended easily. besides, i think that kinda stuff is a good change from all the seriousness we're all too tangled in.

averageamericanmale.com

a note:

if you see this cat on the streets, it's because i put him there.

where the streets sparkle

being home has it's perks. for one, it's most likely my day off and my schedule consists of absolutely nothing. and then, my parents feed me! it's a stretch but they do that when i'm in richmond.. however, eating their food, instead of using money they give me to eat my own food, is very different. i miss their cooking and almost wish i could recreate it when they're not around (i've tried, i'm terrible). i love spending time with my family, especially my nieces and nephew, because it hurts not being around 24/7 to watch them all grow up -- these are the times i know i'll miss the most. to top it all off, i feel like there's nothing to worry about: no dirty dishes, no laundry, no cat hair, no missed meals, no loud neighbors at 4am, no random fuckers stealing my tags, no weekly shoot-offs at new york fried chicken, no dirty old men following me down the street (no men at all following me down the street), and most of all, i feel safe in the sense that i'm surrounded by people i know will keep me safe.

home is where the heart is.

what's up?!

stay tuned, pictures from the last week will be up soon. finally got my new camera and i've been practicing. no promises, and definitely nothing to rave about, but eye candy nonetheless.

VB,VA

i'm going home today :)

just for the record, yesterday was the longest day of my life. i worked 11-10, running on 3 hours of sleep. it. sucked. balls.

dollars & counting

9am, closer to 10.
i had a great sleep, no interruptions.
yesterday, my credit card came in.
spent so much money,
I FELT LIKE PUKING.
but reality is,
i planned ahead for this...
and i was 7/8 responsible.
surprised?
i am.
(i credit my frugal upbringing)
purchases are not done yet.
come 2pm, Luda will be
running around RVA
and getting shit together.
what's up??!

+++ i can't wait till THURSDAY. +++

hungover?

Watched this last night with Orlando. in a crowded theater, there's always that one person whose laugh virtually silences everyone else's. yeah, we were blessed enough to sit a row in front of HIM. his laugh was so high pitched that we assumed it was a woman... but we were wrong... it was a man... short, young, and asian. can't say i was annoyed; i think i have him to thank for making the movie that much more enjoyable. ha!

great movie, worth seeing.

mmm donuts

a tangent off of tangents

it's June already which means we are officially halfway through 2K9. can you believe it? i hate realizing so much time has past...

only a few more days until i make  some big dollar purcha$es, one of which is a camera... ooo! but all's a secret for now, just stay tuned.

i'm in Orlando's basement... he left me to go to the Wale concert. no hard feelings, i've been glued to the 360 but now my eyes are fogged up & i may or may not be half asleep (how do you judge that?). 

last night, Goshen hosted a full crowd. mind you, it was only about 8 people, but my place is tiny and these folks are not. all the boys measure well over 6 feet. i'm the midget. 

the heat's getting disgusting. why is humidity allowed to be paired with high temperature? it's bad for certain plants, certain hairstyles, and certain personalities, like mine. plus we all know that the heat makes us tired. to be tired leads to laziness = low productivity = wasted time.

i'll end this with my new favorite quote inspired by the episode of Family Guy where they made fun of Stephen King movies, "what the fuck IS a hollaback girl?!!?!" - O.W.W. well, i never thought about it either...

[peace&love][ludahaha]

[BE]tter.

we're too caught up in ourselves that we forget little bits of wisdom we should carry at all times. i'm in love with this blog, i love what they do, and it made me feel loads better in less than 20 minutes.

THINGS WE FORGET

the intro to a good weekend?

i had a pretty bad week which is not in anyway limited to the following list: i was sick for 24 hours, late to work twice, only had one day at VS, was stood up, not enough sleep, weird fuckers blowin' my phone, cats pissed in the tub, miss my family, mysterious cuts & bruises, losing touch with person(s), and my banks says i owe them money (f*you).

so i'm searching for that magical weekend where there's a possibility i'll wake up somewhere unfamiliar and not know my way back home...
last night i was at a party that got crashed and the guy just kept yelling at the police... basically going in circles but he hit these points head on: "you all are just a bunch of cheaters! you're all liars!"
WHAT? HA. let's hope this is a sign.

the next few weeks are going to be different. i'm excited.

all i want.

home away from home away from home.

i went up to nova for some boolubbin' friday night so yours truly was there over the weekend. driving alone is so... lonely. try that 89 cent chicken burrito from taco bell yet? shit's deee-licious and CHEAP. kinda makes me wonder what they're using besides Grade D meat but it's light on my wallet so i'm not stressin too much.

HOW-thefuck-EVER, i AM stressing about the no-call-no-show i had at work today. it was an honest mistake but i haven't called the manager who was on shift yet... and it's been 12 hours! in the year that i've been with them, this has never happened to me before so i hope they love me enough to let this one slide. hope, hope, hoping.

if i stop caring, will that make me a bad person?
or
will it save me from bad people?

FYI

i feel weird around you.
i have a weird feeling about you.

golden kinda day.

shoutoutz to my man mpDaZzLe! our chill time is few and far between but he had me laughing to tears today!! it's always nice to reconnect with old friends, and in this particular case... oooold meaning 3rd grade -- over a decade. try not to burn bridges.

i've decided to add to my list of things i wanna get done before i die (that's not the actual name, but you get the point). on the travel channel is a show called Growing Up... that features the life of baby elephants. apparently, they love watermelon... and so do i! so sometime in my life, i'd wanna share a watermelon with a baby elephant. one step further into this idea would be to actually own that baby elephant as a pet. yeah? yeah?
but i'm a terrible pet owner, and i can accept and live up to that.

i'm tired of being judged wrongly.
i don't put myself out there to look for trouble
and i'm hardly the type to worry about.
my actions are honorable -- i shouldn't feel bad.

what goes on at 5AM?

I'm suffering from insomnia... sort of. i've been trying to get my life together and sleep early (before 2am) but it's backfiring. i fell asleep halfway through the game, woke up around 3 something and now am wide awake nitpicking this blog. it's still not what i want it to look like, but i figure it'll get there sooner or later.

today, or yesterday rather, was a good day. another BEFFY day (if you're unfamiliar with the term, it's similar to 'BFF' but better). has anyone ever watched The Uninvited? it had an okay twist at the end which saved the movie, in my opinion, but i hate watching stupid people in horror flicks. i just catch myself yelling at them... Max & Steven came over and that was fun. but as i was hanging out with everyone outside of my building, i was flooded with the urge to go and buy a decent camera. sadly, Zee, the Sony, is in Oklahoma with the popsz and i have nothing to document my days with.

1. a sketch by Max & Steven 2. flowers in Springfield 3. our initials on a tree 4. perfect example of how O & I feel about taking pictures together