so, yeah.

i haven't posted anything in over a month.

i haven't been home since then, either.

speaking of home, i'm going home this friday. orlando is coming with me. things between us are kind of weird... really. he's scared to say anything cause it'll hurt my feelings. actually, it's always been like this (where he'll speak harshly and i'll cry about it later HAHA) but i guess now i'm just more open about it? what does he expect? i just wish things weren't so awkward right now. he still makes me laugh and we still have fun together, but now it's just -- different.

i was super smacked last night. off of only ONE mthrf'n hit. i kept seeing things and my surroundings kept turning and spinning. it was fun until that happened. but it was the cutest experience i've ever had inebriated.. it felt like i was in a dollhouse town. i felt like i shrank and was playing in a fake town -- i guess that's just how Richmond looks with the old style houses and what not. eventually, i had to lie down but even with my eyes closed i saw some psychadelic shit. CRAzY.

work is going okay. the pay is starting to catch up with my lavish lifestyle (sike). i need more money than i'm making or more self-control than i have but the latter is probably not going to happen until i feel the pain of being on my own; when the pops stops paying my credit card :(. orlando says i "need to get on point" and look for internships or some other job where i'm getting paid more than i am currently and try to sit on my ass all day to make money. but see, i like moving around and talking to people during work... that's the best part, the interaction. but i have been looking on craigslist and i've found a few server positions... nothing along the lines of an internship though. if i turn to waitressing, then i'll be making tips and that's instant money i can take home after the end of my shift so i wont have to wait for a biweekly paycheck... just the $2-3 that's guaranteed. sounds good, eh?

i want to give olive away. yes, i have a bunny. and a cat too, as a matter of fact. cat facts. haha. umm... today i asked sherita how long she's planning to keep onyx and she said most likely forever since she doesn't give animals away. then i started to think about how long i planned to keep moose. probably a long time, right? i have to set up an appointment for him to get all his needed shots then get him declawed. i hate his claws! that's one of the biggest reasons i keep throwing him.. cats are easy to have because they're so willing to use a litter box so it's not that difficult to keep things clean with them. since they're getting older, they have more needs and i haven't had the time (or money) to get them things they need like a real scratching post... they're currently using my cork board i couldn't get on my wall..

about a week ago i got really tired of my closet so i went shopping. i still haven't bought my sewing machine but when i do, maybe i could sell some of my stuff on the internet or to whoever wants it. i want to take a sewing class... not to mention a culinary class since i've been very much into cooking as well. i'm also trying to get on television... weird!! but i think i'd like it -- being a host for a show or maybe a reality thing.. i'm trying to look for those disney audition dates but i can't find them on the internet. gotta start somewhere. the things that are going on right now are changing how i want my future to turn out... maybe i was watching project runway way too long. the marathons are always running.. but it's still a passion and i should follow through with something in my life. i have different values now. i even thought of doing a beauty type academy where i learn how to cut hair and do make-up. but that'd only be good for a few years since i can't see myself indulging in something shallow for my entire life. i wanna make the world better too, as corny as that sounds.

so yeah.