some time

yeah it's been some time.
yesterday i arrived back from Hawaii... more on that later.
but for now...

aren't relationships supposed to be reciprocal?
i thought i was done with these but i guess i'm not.
"female issues" [laugh it out]
it's bad to be labeled a "female" .. yeah?

i want to scream. SO? WHAT THE FUCK? AND?
sacrifice, respect, loyalty, and trust.

i want to check them all off.

before these entries turn into a replica of 07, i should just take really, really, really, really deeeeeeeep breaths.
this is rational. i shouldn't feel like i need to meet someone/some group's standards. what happened?

see-saw, not a balance. i'm too much. i'm too much. i'm too much.
you said it yourself.

these have roots.

i should flip the switch.
catch it from the other side.



(for now)


new era

August 1st is fast approaching and I need to find tenants for this apartment. I'm moving into a one bedroom and I'm superfcknexcited. So today, on my day off, I've been walking around just touring different sites; some are better than others but utilities and appliances have been the prime determining factor on whether or not I want to move into the place. I was lucky when I got this apartment -- washer&dryer + a microwave with utilities included?! -- totally took advantage of this!

I have an appointment to see a place across the street in 10 minutes.

ahhh wish me luck, pleeeease.
(or else I'll be homeless!)



Billy Mays
July 20, 1958 - June 28, 2009


a week in threes


Ed McMahon
March 6, 1923 – June 23, 2009
Farrah Fawcett
February 2, 1947 - June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson
August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009


SR; the average american male

finished the book i bought yesterday this morning but i had to take a break last night because of some... certain circumstances. anyway, the title is the average american male by chad kultgen & it was the realest book i've ever read (i have no better way of putting it). easy read, light, and targeted for my generation, it still had little lessons i think i'll carry with me. despite the constant references to sex and cussing every other line, i genuinely liked it and recommend it to anyone who doesn't get offended easily. besides, i think that kinda stuff is a good change from all the seriousness we're all too tangled in.


a note:

if you see this cat on the streets, it's because i put him there.


where the streets sparkle

being home has it's perks. for one, it's most likely my day off and my schedule consists of absolutely nothing. and then, my parents feed me! it's a stretch but they do that when i'm in richmond.. however, eating their food, instead of using money they give me to eat my own food, is very different. i miss their cooking and almost wish i could recreate it when they're not around (i've tried, i'm terrible). i love spending time with my family, especially my nieces and nephew, because it hurts not being around 24/7 to watch them all grow up -- these are the times i know i'll miss the most. to top it all off, i feel like there's nothing to worry about: no dirty dishes, no laundry, no cat hair, no missed meals, no loud neighbors at 4am, no random fuckers stealing my tags, no weekly shoot-offs at new york fried chicken, no dirty old men following me down the street (no men at all following me down the street), and most of all, i feel safe in the sense that i'm surrounded by people i know will keep me safe.

home is where the heart is.


what's up?!

stay tuned, pictures from the last week will be up soon. finally got my new camera and i've been practicing. no promises, and definitely nothing to rave about, but eye candy nonetheless.



i'm going home today :)

just for the record, yesterday was the longest day of my life. i worked 11-10, running on 3 hours of sleep. it. sucked. balls.


dollars & counting

9am, closer to 10.
i had a great sleep, no interruptions.
yesterday, my credit card came in.
spent so much money,
but reality is,
i planned ahead for this...
and i was 7/8 responsible.
i am.
(i credit my frugal upbringing)
purchases are not done yet.
come 2pm, Luda will be
running around RVA
and getting shit together.
what's up??!

+++ i can't wait till THURSDAY. +++



Watched this last night with Orlando. in a crowded theater, there's always that one person whose laugh virtually silences everyone else's. yeah, we were blessed enough to sit a row in front of HIM. his laugh was so high pitched that we assumed it was a woman... but we were wrong... it was a man... short, young, and asian. can't say i was annoyed; i think i have him to thank for making the movie that much more enjoyable. ha!

great movie, worth seeing.


a tangent off of tangents

it's June already which means we are officially halfway through 2K9. can you believe it? i hate realizing so much time has past...

only a few more days until i make  some big dollar purcha$es, one of which is a camera... ooo! but all's a secret for now, just stay tuned.

i'm in Orlando's basement... he left me to go to the Wale concert. no hard feelings, i've been glued to the 360 but now my eyes are fogged up & i may or may not be half asleep (how do you judge that?). 

last night, Goshen hosted a full crowd. mind you, it was only about 8 people, but my place is tiny and these folks are not. all the boys measure well over 6 feet. i'm the midget. 

the heat's getting disgusting. why is humidity allowed to be paired with high temperature? it's bad for certain plants, certain hairstyles, and certain personalities, like mine. plus we all know that the heat makes us tired. to be tired leads to laziness = low productivity = wasted time.

i'll end this with my new favorite quote inspired by the episode of Family Guy where they made fun of Stephen King movies, "what the fuck IS a hollaback girl?!!?!" - O.W.W. well, i never thought about it either...




we're too caught up in ourselves that we forget little bits of wisdom we should carry at all times. i'm in love with this blog, i love what they do, and it made me feel loads better in less than 20 minutes.


the intro to a good weekend?

i had a pretty bad week which is not in anyway limited to the following list: i was sick for 24 hours, late to work twice, only had one day at VS, was stood up, not enough sleep, weird fuckers blowin' my phone, cats pissed in the tub, miss my family, mysterious cuts & bruises, losing touch with person(s), and my banks says i owe them money (f*you).

so i'm searching for that magical weekend where there's a possibility i'll wake up somewhere unfamiliar and not know my way back home...
last night i was at a party that got crashed and the guy just kept yelling at the police... basically going in circles but he hit these points head on: "you all are just a bunch of cheaters! you're all liars!"
WHAT? HA. let's hope this is a sign.

the next few weeks are going to be different. i'm excited.

all i want.


home away from home away from home.

i went up to nova for some boolubbin' friday night so yours truly was there over the weekend. driving alone is so... lonely. try that 89 cent chicken burrito from taco bell yet? shit's deee-licious and CHEAP. kinda makes me wonder what they're using besides Grade D meat but it's light on my wallet so i'm not stressin too much.

HOW-thefuck-EVER, i AM stressing about the no-call-no-show i had at work today. it was an honest mistake but i haven't called the manager who was on shift yet... and it's been 12 hours! in the year that i've been with them, this has never happened to me before so i hope they love me enough to let this one slide. hope, hope, hoping.

if i stop caring, will that make me a bad person?
will it save me from bad people?



i feel weird around you.
i have a weird feeling about you.

golden kinda day.

shoutoutz to my man mpDaZzLe! our chill time is few and far between but he had me laughing to tears today!! it's always nice to reconnect with old friends, and in this particular case... oooold meaning 3rd grade -- over a decade. try not to burn bridges.

i've decided to add to my list of things i wanna get done before i die (that's not the actual name, but you get the point). on the travel channel is a show called Growing Up... that features the life of baby elephants. apparently, they love watermelon... and so do i! so sometime in my life, i'd wanna share a watermelon with a baby elephant. one step further into this idea would be to actually own that baby elephant as a pet. yeah? yeah?
but i'm a terrible pet owner, and i can accept and live up to that.

i'm tired of being judged wrongly.
i don't put myself out there to look for trouble
and i'm hardly the type to worry about.
my actions are honorable -- i shouldn't feel bad.


what goes on at 5AM?

I'm suffering from insomnia... sort of. i've been trying to get my life together and sleep early (before 2am) but it's backfiring. i fell asleep halfway through the game, woke up around 3 something and now am wide awake nitpicking this blog. it's still not what i want it to look like, but i figure it'll get there sooner or later.

today, or yesterday rather, was a good day. another BEFFY day (if you're unfamiliar with the term, it's similar to 'BFF' but better). has anyone ever watched The Uninvited? it had an okay twist at the end which saved the movie, in my opinion, but i hate watching stupid people in horror flicks. i just catch myself yelling at them... Max & Steven came over and that was fun. but as i was hanging out with everyone outside of my building, i was flooded with the urge to go and buy a decent camera. sadly, Zee, the Sony, is in Oklahoma with the popsz and i have nothing to document my days with.

1. a sketch by Max & Steven 2. flowers in Springfield 3. our initials on a tree 4. perfect example of how O & I feel about taking pictures together


this is new but...

i'm so in love with this name that i'm transferring all my old blog posts from ludaconsay.livejournal.com here. i'll probably only pick the ones that matter and this should be regular very soon.


*** 10:32 AM

notice: anything posted below this entry was just added from my old blog.




plant a garden.

chance of rain (again) but clear skies for now. it's gorgeous outside & i'm going exploring! it's practically rained all through April.. but as the saying goes, April Showers Bring May Flowers. oh, i loveeee flowers.

that's actually something i wanted to cross off my list today: buy and tend to a plant. maybe i'll go with a giant sunflower or an orchid. it doesn't matter. i'm in such a great mood, i can hardly give a shit what i'm planting... watermelon?!

there's a lot of things i don't need in my life.
so.... i'm getting rid of 'em.


summer wishes.

I've decided to search for a third job, most likely waitress-ing, in hopes for saving money toward an end-of-the-summer vacation. I wanna travel somewhere new --- by myself. travelocity is giving me good ideas & i think i'm leaning in favor to somewhere tropical. Hawaii is my first choice but we'll see what happens. wherever i decide on going, it's a given: i'm going to have to be FRUGAL AS SHIT with all the money i make now. haaaaaa, what a challenge... lyke omg 4realz.
i'm not into the Florida scene too much but sherita offered me a vay-cay to Miami with some friends. i'd love to go but it's too early for me and they're gonna be hittin on chicas all day so we might throw off their game.

speaking of games....

playoff game, ROCKETS VS. LAKERS! unbelievable. probably the best game i've ever watched. there was a long stretch of "mob mentality" in the apartment which most likely hyped it x1000 but good game, nonetheless. i never get worked up watching sports unless i have a team to root for and thanks to Marcus, i had my loyalty to the lakers. Jay came over and intensified the yelling more, then Max & his buddies added to our screaming. the game had fights, ejections, and twisted shit. Kobe's sneaky, but that muthrfckr can play, no lie. he knows "[they] can't hold [him]!"


"HOW IN THE WORLD DID HE DO THAT?!" <-- i'm saaaayinnnn!

Fisher is so dense...
DIRTY. but i can't even get mad!

more than epic game.


humor me.

check for updates, blog posts, add them on facebook/twitter...
because i'd do it for you :)

today marks my first day of summer.
wow, this semester sucked. but... moving on...


Ahem.... My name is Orlando. For those who dont know me, im the boyfriend of the notorious Luda, aka Ludabagel aka Bagel aka Lil' Phili.
First and foremost i would like to notify everyone that in these next few months the author of this blog will become enslaved for the well-being of my personal project. Due to the size of this project, her freetime will be consumed leaving her to do nothing on her own free will. MUAHAHA! Jk
These next few months are going to be awesome and im looking forward to her contributions to what im doing, as well as anyone else involved.
Oh and by the way. Why dont you upload more of your pictures and videos on here. Theyre awesome!


let's go treasure hunting.

third exam was today... i think i did alright, hopefully. then the last one is Monday! ahhh i'm so excited. another factor to my happiness is the return of MANGO SALSAAAAA! oh Lord... one job feeds me, the other clothes me.

it's supposed to rain tomorrow and saturday :( how geeehhay. but next week will welcome us all to freedom with clear skies and 70 degree weather! now i can put all my dresses into good use. hiphophurray!!!

can someone please buy me a GEOCACHING KIT?!! i'm basically asking for a hand-held GPS and a shovel.. maybe a sun hat and some hand sanitizer should you feel extra generous... if you haven't ever heard of Geocaching, there is more info on this website. treasure hunting all over the world?! people just hiding cute knick-knacks everywhere for others to find. sounds way too fun. i think it'd be the greatest thing to have this summer... besides mango salsa. one down, eh?


i still hate myself.

besides performing a 7 week disappearing act, a few things have happened.

i know, i know... it's been forever! i've updated the many blogs i have floating around the internet but i seem to be most attached to this one (if that even holds any meaning). maybe it's because it has more heart than the rest of them -- meaning, more entries. whatever the reason is, i'm back and this is most likely the one to stay.

as of the end of March, i've been blessed with a second and even more beneficial job than THE Q (dun dun duuuuun). you can find me at Victoria's Secret! the sad and harsh but 100% true reality: i've spent more than i've been paid. YIKES! i'm trying to take care of that by convincing myself that i don't need what i want and indulging in material items is a shallow, conceited, and wasteful habit to live with... but what can i say? i'm young and stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid. but on the plus +++ side, i've been responsible enough to say no to a bulk of things & also use more than 50% of my check(s) to pay off my credit card. daddy, i AM learning!

this week is finals week & with one heavy sigh of relief, i can say that by this time next week, i'll be FREE! i've already taken 2 finals so 2 more to go! regretfully, i didn't do as well as i could have liked this semester... blah&yadda --- same ol' shit. truth is, i need someone to talk to! my life is so jumbled that even though i haven't written much in this entry so far, it's dawning on me how much i need to get done. i just want someone i can spill my guts & insecurities out to and get useful feedback without negative judgement. i'll be a 3rd year college student come fall & haven't officially declared my major. pathetic... or maybe i'm reaching for something too far in the dark. i have my own issues to work out.

over the weekend, Orlando and I took frequent trips around Richmond city, baby. i love it here, i really do. life is good. we went downtown, to the river/Oregon Hill (future home!), the Fan, backroads... there's so much culture here, it's hard to fully grasp. the variations in attitudes, depending on which area you so happen to be in, is mind boggling. i'm from Virginia Beach which is perfect for suburban living -- mom/dad & kids, but where is the thickness & substance of life down there? i can sincerely say that i've met good people here... people with things to offer me. a whole new mindset was only 100 miles from home. whether or not school hands me that golden job we're all fighting for, i'll know where i truly learned the most.

lighter subject/eye KandEE: Saturday, Sherita and i started the party early... come 3pm, we were drunk and playing basketball at the block party down the street. free food, music... hahah. Jasmina picked Orlando up as a favor (thanks again!) and we chilled all day till 3am. i forgot how cool she was! hahaha.... i don't even remember her taking this picture. GONE like whoa.

until next time.<3


why the hiatus?

I hate myself sometimes.